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If, for example, you believe that only “alpha” – for a suitably mistaken definition of “alpha” men get women, then that will be part of your reality.Not because it’s notice or pay heed to that which confirms your pre-existing belief.The problem with this approach is that, frankly, that’s not .Trying to be someone who is diametrically opposed to who you are inside is a recipe for frustration and failure. I was sabotaging myself in a number of ways that I didn’t even realize… The longer this goes on, the more you’re becoming convinced more than ever that this whole dating/sex/talking to other people thing is something that do and you’d be better off weighing the pros and cons of a monastic life of quiet desperation and a poetic death via alcoholism interspersed with self-pitying and slightly arch animated gif parades on Tumblr or women being bitches or any number of other things I told myself to explain my failures away.It can be tempting to rationalize this away: after all, why wouldn’t someone take being desired as a compliment?But then: when you say will do, you’re saying that you don’t give a damn about the individual.

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There’s a reason why “just be yourself” is one of the most annoyingly useless advice cliches out there.An attitude of “This sucks, this will never work, I’ll never_______, only _____ people get to do _____,” only guarantees that you are indeed correct; it won’t ever work, nor will you ever do whatever it is that you’ve been hoping.

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