Unless Peter can raise ,000 in thirty days to cover his mortgage, White will foreclose on Average Joe’s and demolish it to build a parking garage for his gym members.Attorney Kate Veatch (Christine Taylor) is working on the transaction for White.White repeatedly and unsuccessfully attempts to charm her, and she instead develops a friendship with Peter while reviewing his financial records.Average Joe’s employees Dwight (Chris Williams) and Owen (Joel David Moore) and members Steve “the Pirate” (Alan Tudyk), Justin (Justin Long), and Gordon (Stephen Root) try to raise the money needed to save the gym.Peter has a chance encounter with Lance Armstrong, who shames him into rejoining his team, but he arrives too late: Average Joe’s has already been forced to forfeit.Gordon finds a loophole in the rules: a majority of the judges can overturn the forfeiture.He has appeared to have quit being a pirate until Peter rouses him back to his old self.Peter is dismayed when a girlfriend of Kate’s, who was in the audience, kisses her passionately, but Kate then reveals that she is bisexual and kisses Peter as well.
However upon noticing a loophole in the contract with Kate, White arranges for her to be fired from her law firm so that dating him would not be a conflict of interest in itself.
Peter is approached by the aging, wheelchair-bound Patches (Rip Torn), who volunteers to coach the Average Joe’s team.
Patches’ training regimen includes throwing wrenches at the team, forcing them to dodge oncoming cars, and constantly berating them with insults.
Chuck Norris casts the tie-breaking vote allowing the team to play.
After a fierce game, Peter and White face off in a sudden-death match to determine the winner.When the Wilson sisters get minor facial cuts in a car accident, they refuse to leave the hotel.